We all have life events that define us and make us who we are. Sometimes these events make us stronger, for others these events remain as obstacles that cannot be crossed, passed or maneuvered around. For me dyslexia and shyness made me a harder worker and a stronger leader.
Fake it till you make it
As a young girl I suffered from paralyzing shyness and dyslexia. I memorized all reading material early on and pretended to know how to read. Unfortunately, I couldn't read, but didn't want to draw a single bit of attention to myself. I was dyslexic and the words just danced on the page with no order. My parents were surprised when the school told them I didn't know how to read. "But, boy can she memorize."
I couldn't stand the thought of being different, so I worked every evening on flash cards when other kids where playing outside or spending time watching Little House on the Prairie. I worked tirelessly, not only did I not want to be different, I didn't want the attention it would bring.
I would like to say this extra effort was only necessary in elementary school, but I carried this weight through graduate school. I did beat dyslexia, it never goes away, but I conquered it with hard work and my grades showed the extra effort. I'll still never win a speed reading competition, but what I have learned is that working hard can help you overcome the obstacles life hands you.
The Sheep in Extrovert's Clothing
I started to break out of my shell in my twenties. Though, I still would rather give a speech to a hundred people than walk into a room of 20 people I didn't know. With such great shyness, it may seem crazy that my first job out of college was a in advertising sales. Not a relationship, client services position, but a hard-core, knock-on-doors, cold-calling sales job.
The way I made this job work, and pretty much every other job since, was to pretend that I have it all together. I put on the facade of being confident and knowledgeable. Over time, this became no longer just a mask I was putting on, but the way I really felt. What was on the inside soon matched the outside. I was never overconfident or fake, just enough acting to cover the shaking in my boots.
We all have our insecurities. These are things we often see in ourselves that no one else would notice unless we bring it to their attention. The best way to overcome those insecurities is to face them, and break down the wall that has built up and is keeping you from reaching your maximum potential.
Now whenever I enter a room and I see that person who is uncomfortable and wants to run, I approach them. It's amazing how many times I find the most interesting person at an event.
Good Things Come To Those Who Work Their Ass Off
My dad's family were Nebraska farmers and believed hard work could solve any problem. I applied this Midwestern work ethic early on, not because I understood it, but because I saw it. I applied a strong work ethic first to my studies, then to learning to overcome shyness. I have heard many times, "Work smarter, not harder". While there is some truth to that phrase, you still must work hard.
As a business owner, I face obstacles daily, as do all entrepreneurs. I wish outsmarting a situation could always solve the situation. But life has its ups and downs, hard decisions, crazy juggling acts that just require hard work. I still feel working harder for my customers, my employees and even myself always makes things a little better.
Defined by Deficiencies or Expectations
I am in the process of reading the book, The Other Wes Moore: One Name, Two Fates. A story of two boys who grew up in similar neighborhoods, in similar situations, born around the same time in Baltimore. One became a Rhodes Scholar, the other wound up in prison. In this book, Wes Moore says, “Do you think that we're products of our environments? I think so, or maybe products of our expectations. Others' expectations of us or our expectations. I mean others' expectations that you take on as your own. I realize how difficult it is to separate the two. The expectations that others place on us help us form our expectations of ourselves.”
I s it the hard work of overcoming obstacles that made me who I am, or the expectation that I could do better, beat dyslexia and overcome shyness. Is the expectations of a hard-working family or my expectations of myself? Is it that I didn't want to be different? What I do know is that life handed me lemons, and I could have just kept them, but instead I made some damn good lemonade.
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